Tired and Empty

In: Social Issues

Submitted By FayLundahl
Words 2034
Pages 9
(10-11-2015 00:33)
Nogle gange når det bliver sent hen på aftenen, så kommer disse tanker, og de fylder al den plads, som mit hoved kan klare. Tankerne kan tage livet af mig, ikke kun metaforisk men selve tankerne, får mig nogle gange til at føle, at jeg intet er værd. Ærligt så forstår jeg ikke hvorfor. Hvorfor skal jeg leve således? Hvorfor lever man og hvad er grunden til livet? Men mest af alt, hvorfor skal jeg fyldes op med disse tanker. Har haft dem i et stykke tid, det er slut nu, slut med kun at komme om aftenen, de kommer morgen, middag og aften. Før i tiden var mine tårekanaler som Sahara, men nu er de som Niagara Falls. Jeg kan bare tænke over få ting, høre musik eller bare se noget foran mig, og med ét skal jeg forsøge at knibe øjnene sammen, så tårerne ikke flyder ud.
Altså jeg forstår det virkelig ikke. Jeg er træt, træt af andre mennesker, træt af skolen, træt af alt socialt, træt af ensomheden, træt af livet. Når jeg er sammen med andre, vil jeg egentlig bare sove eller være alene. Er jeg alene, vil jeg være sammen med andre. Jeg ved ikke hvad der sker i mit hoved. Folk ved det enten ikke, eller forstår ikke hvorfor, at jeg ikke selv kan forklare det. Problemet er, at folk mener, at jeg burde vide bare et eller andet omkring mine følelser og tilstanden jeg er i. Men sandheden er, at jeg er tom, jeg er tom for ord. Jeg føler mig tom for følelser, men på samme tid flyder alle mine følelser oven i hinanden. Ja, det er vel normalt for teenagere, men for mit vedkommende har jeg snakket med med både min UU- Vejleder og gennem hende en psykolog på kommunen. Psykologen kunne ikke hjælpe mig, igen fordi jeg ikke vidste, hvad jeg skulle sige. Hvad kunne jeg sige? Jeg sad sammen med en aldrende kvinde i hvad? 50’erne måske, hun kendte mig ikke, så hvilken indflydelse ville hun dog kunne få i mit liv? Altså kan jo ikke bare sidde og glo i de opdelte i alt seks…...

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